Saturday, February 11, 2017

#NORTHKOREA--In Case of Missile Attack--USE NUCLEAR BLAST PROCEDURE

TO KLINGER
FROM HAWKEYE
SUBJ DUTY ROSTER

(ROSIE'S BAR)-- Following procedure has been adopted by all personnel in the 4077th MASH unit if and when DPRK launches all out surprise attack on camp--

 

* NOTICE OFFICE OF CIVILIAN DEFENSE
WASHINGTON D. C.
* ***************************************** *
 INSTRUCTION TO PATRONS ON PREMISES * *
IN CASE OF NUCLEAR BOMB ATTACK:
UPON THE FIRST WARNING: 
1. STAY CLEAR OF ALL WINDOWS.
2. KEEP HANDS FREE OF GLASSES, BOTTLES, CIGARETTES, ETC.
3. STAND AWAY FROM BAR, TABLES, ORCHESTRA, EQUIPMENT AND FURNITURE.
4. LOOSEN NECKTIE, UNBUTTON COAT AND ANY OTHER RESTRICTIVE CLOTHING.
5. REMOVE GLASSES, EMPTY POCKETS OF ALL SHARP OBJECTS SUCH AS PENS, PENCILS, ETC.
 6. IMMEDIATELY UPON SEEING THE BRILLIANT FLASH OF NUCLEAR EXPLOSION, BEND OVER AND PLACE YOUR HEAD FIRMLY BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.
7. THEN KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE.


FWD ALL RESPECTIVE CAMP COMPONENTS, REF TO ALL NURSES--MEET IN SWAMP, ZERO-DARK-THIRTY--